Monday, 3 October 2011

Theological definitions

Learning theology can be confusing, all the more so with the bizarre terminology often used. So, here is a guide to some of the terms and their possible meanings (tongue firmly in cheek):

Soteriology - learning how to make fried potatoes

Eschatology - 1. the study of automated stairs, 2. learning how to speak posh at the races (Ascott)

Justification - the reason why none of my behaviour really matters...

Atonement - (pronounced a-tone-ment) how to be theologically discordant

Christology - the study of pretty, shiny rocks

Hermeneutics - the art of making the Bible mean whatever you want it to

Ethics - a county in southern England

Canonical criticism - sizing up the opposition's guns

Heresy - 1. A 5-piece pop band, 2. second-hand information

Hypostasis - staying still too long

Immutability - unfortunately, you can't stop them talking

Impeccability - impersonating woodpeckers

Sovereignty - a very posh cup of tea

I hope that helps you on your quest for theological knowledge. If I've missed out any important ones that you're still stuck on, do let me know.


  1. Do you own Adrian Plass' 'Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation' book by any chance?! Compile enough of these and you could produce the follow up...

  2. Yes, I do own a copy. You've got me carefully checking through to make sure I haven't inadvertently pinched one of his ideas! I do enjoy his humour and admire him as a writer so I'll take the comparison as a compliment :)