Monday, 3 October 2011

Theological definitions

Learning theology can be confusing, all the more so with the bizarre terminology often used. So, here is a guide to some of the terms and their possible meanings (tongue firmly in cheek):

Soteriology - learning how to make fried potatoes

Eschatology - 1. the study of automated stairs, 2. learning how to speak posh at the races (Ascott)

Justification - the reason why none of my behaviour really matters...

Atonement - (pronounced a-tone-ment) how to be theologically discordant

Christology - the study of pretty, shiny rocks

Hermeneutics - the art of making the Bible mean whatever you want it to

Ethics - a county in southern England

Canonical criticism - sizing up the opposition's guns

Heresy - 1. A 5-piece pop band, 2. second-hand information

Hypostasis - staying still too long

Immutability - unfortunately, you can't stop them talking

Impeccability - impersonating woodpeckers

Sovereignty - a very posh cup of tea

I hope that helps you on your quest for theological knowledge. If I've missed out any important ones that you're still stuck on, do let me know.

2 comments:

  1. Do you own Adrian Plass' 'Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation' book by any chance?! Compile enough of these and you could produce the follow up...

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  2. Yes, I do own a copy. You've got me carefully checking through to make sure I haven't inadvertently pinched one of his ideas! I do enjoy his humour and admire him as a writer so I'll take the comparison as a compliment :)

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